A Special Day with my Niece
A few years back I began an annual Mother's Day surprise with my niece. Though after the first year it was no longer a surprise. I borrowed her for the day. We went shopping for a perfect dress then had her pciture taken. The last time we did it was when Liam was 6 months old.
You may not be able to tell, but as soon as this picture was taken he had a melt down to end all meltdowns! I need to wait for Craig or David to load the cd before I can show off todays pictures. But they turned out so wonderful. And my niece asked me to be in one and we got a couple with me I was willing to accept. I always love family pictures if I am not in them. I once read the story of a woman who had lost a great deal of weight. Her turning point was when she realized that she was no longer in any of the family pictures. So far that has not worked as a turning point for me. I am still looking for my turning point.
Then I took her out to lunch. We went to McGraths which is a really nice sea food restaurant in our area. I have learned a lesson the hard way....it takes me a few knocks for things to sink in. I love their Seafood Linguini. Love love love it! But my tummy does not! So I will not order it again...and since that is the only reason I ever go to that eatery I probably won't go back. A sad day for all. But we can make a version here at home that does not upset my tummy and I can even use my low carb pasta! That I will do more of.
Liam spent the day with a family from my church. He is in Sunday School with their youngest daughter and went to bed last night with a huge smile on his face anticipating the day. And he was one tired boy this evening. Those meltdowns still happen and tonight was no exception. After one that appeared to have only an imaginary trigger we moved on to the next phase which was brought on by daddy picking up the sofa cushions that mommy in her upset tumminess was ignoring being spread out all over the family room...the second phase had barely died down when the third phase kicked in, he couldn't get a game on his kindle to play. That is when I took him to his room and told him that he needed to lay in bed and calm himself down (I found from a few days ago that being in his room when he is in trouble makes an impact on him). I pointed out that I knew he was tired but he couldn't act this way. I stayed upstairs so I could hear him and about 5 minutes later his crying was done and he called 'mommy'. Craig in the meantime had brought up the paint stick just in case Liam needed some help to quit crying. He commented that there was nothing threatening about a little paint stick. I said that once it is actually used it will become threatening but that now was not the time. You know...years ago, as I watched all my firends having babies and watched all the areas in their parenting where I saw potential problems in the future I thought "how can they not see where they are going so wrong here?" I was certainly never going to make those mistakes....well....this whole parenting thing is really hard! And now I look back and see that they were all doing the best job they could with the skills they had aquired growing up. And I wonder how a person that does not have a relationship with Jesus can have the courage to do this most difficult of jobs? I lean on Him so much for wisdom in every area of raising this little boy. And even with all that help I still fail. I lose my patience and become very angry. Then I see my exact actions in Liam hours or days later. And that fills me with shame. Where is all my wonderful parenting ideas from years gone by? I have discovered when you are in the heat of the moment it takes incredible strength to stop long enough to bring them into focus. And I am working on that daily. I admire Michelle Duggar and often will try to talk to myself saying "what would Michelle do right now?" Well...she would be calm and her voice would become quieter (she says that about herself in their book...the children know when she is really upset because she starts to whisper) I want to handle things that way. Not with my voice raised and frightening. He is only three and I don't want to be this big scary person in his life. I want to be a safe person. Where he knows his feelings and emotions are safe. Where things are consistent and not explosive.
So there is what is on my heart tonight. Funny how you can start with one thing and end with another. Your conversations go to where your heart is. Mine is with that sweet little boy sound asleep in the next room.
Then I took her out to lunch. We went to McGraths which is a really nice sea food restaurant in our area. I have learned a lesson the hard way....it takes me a few knocks for things to sink in. I love their Seafood Linguini. Love love love it! But my tummy does not! So I will not order it again...and since that is the only reason I ever go to that eatery I probably won't go back. A sad day for all. But we can make a version here at home that does not upset my tummy and I can even use my low carb pasta! That I will do more of.
Liam spent the day with a family from my church. He is in Sunday School with their youngest daughter and went to bed last night with a huge smile on his face anticipating the day. And he was one tired boy this evening. Those meltdowns still happen and tonight was no exception. After one that appeared to have only an imaginary trigger we moved on to the next phase which was brought on by daddy picking up the sofa cushions that mommy in her upset tumminess was ignoring being spread out all over the family room...the second phase had barely died down when the third phase kicked in, he couldn't get a game on his kindle to play. That is when I took him to his room and told him that he needed to lay in bed and calm himself down (I found from a few days ago that being in his room when he is in trouble makes an impact on him). I pointed out that I knew he was tired but he couldn't act this way. I stayed upstairs so I could hear him and about 5 minutes later his crying was done and he called 'mommy'. Craig in the meantime had brought up the paint stick just in case Liam needed some help to quit crying. He commented that there was nothing threatening about a little paint stick. I said that once it is actually used it will become threatening but that now was not the time. You know...years ago, as I watched all my firends having babies and watched all the areas in their parenting where I saw potential problems in the future I thought "how can they not see where they are going so wrong here?" I was certainly never going to make those mistakes....well....this whole parenting thing is really hard! And now I look back and see that they were all doing the best job they could with the skills they had aquired growing up. And I wonder how a person that does not have a relationship with Jesus can have the courage to do this most difficult of jobs? I lean on Him so much for wisdom in every area of raising this little boy. And even with all that help I still fail. I lose my patience and become very angry. Then I see my exact actions in Liam hours or days later. And that fills me with shame. Where is all my wonderful parenting ideas from years gone by? I have discovered when you are in the heat of the moment it takes incredible strength to stop long enough to bring them into focus. And I am working on that daily. I admire Michelle Duggar and often will try to talk to myself saying "what would Michelle do right now?" Well...she would be calm and her voice would become quieter (she says that about herself in their book...the children know when she is really upset because she starts to whisper) I want to handle things that way. Not with my voice raised and frightening. He is only three and I don't want to be this big scary person in his life. I want to be a safe person. Where he knows his feelings and emotions are safe. Where things are consistent and not explosive.
So there is what is on my heart tonight. Funny how you can start with one thing and end with another. Your conversations go to where your heart is. Mine is with that sweet little boy sound asleep in the next room.